Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
