This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
