now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
