I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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