i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
