a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
