mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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