it's too hot outside to masturbate.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
