Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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