First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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