SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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