Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
