I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
