I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize