He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
