wrigley field is MILF paradise
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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