Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
