She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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