i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
