Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
