i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
