oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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