I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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