just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
vagina is talking i cant
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
