If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
