sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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