Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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