my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's blow job season.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
