About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
