His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
