they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
