These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
