I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
