Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
