Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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