once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
