Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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