your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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