i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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