If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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