I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
