Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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