how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
