zippers are such a cool invention
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
