Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
