she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
