Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize