Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
