Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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