there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
this will be a night to untag.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
