i just wanna soil my oats bro
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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