Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Pappa wants mamma naked

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat

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(224): View more from Illinois

So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.

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(720): View more from Colorado

When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.

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(409): View more from Texas

The car smells like weed is an understatement.

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(916): View more from California

I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals

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