so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
