I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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