i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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