So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
