Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
