She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
