I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
