Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she smelled like a LAN party
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
