Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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