My room smells like vodka and shame
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
two words...techno handjob
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
