Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I had to cum in my sink.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
