I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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