I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
