butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
