She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
