that's an acceptable place to lick
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
