people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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