so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I love you. Go after that dick
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
