Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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