I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
