Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
