um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
