No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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