so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
