have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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